Bonus Post: A Father's Love

It's Football In America Day.  I'm in the midst of watching 14 glorious hours of college football games - mostly alone.  My four wonderful boys are wandering through the terrain of their own lives today.  My sweet wife is savoring a calm and quiet day at home.

Today, surfing an un-explainable stream of  consciousness, I stumbled across the work of an ESPN writer, Wright Thompson.  Two articles in particular capture well some of the mystery of the father-son relationship.  (article 1, article 2)

All this prompted me to write a short note to Wright.  I don't know him and he doesn't know me.  But as is my habit, I write to people who inspire me in some direction or another.  I thought the readers of Follow Illustrated might find my comments to Wright interesting:

Nice work, Wright.  Are you a dad yet?  I am.  Four boys ranging from 16 to 26 – on any given day I’m not sure who’s the oldest.  In your writing, you have touched on the key component of fatherhood – anguish.  There is anguish in the day to day.  "Dang it, why did I do that?"  And there is anguish in the decade to decade.  "Have I done enough?  Have I done enough to shape and energize this little life I love so very much?"

You and Les Miles (see article 1) and I live in the shadow of wishing our fathers had seen us at our very best.  That’s the sweet spot of parenting, the payoff pitch.  In reality, we see our kids at their worst, for sure, and only occasionally at their very best.  The trade secret of fatherhood is that we love even when love is not easy.  If we did only love when it was easy, it wouldn’t be love.

I hope and pray that someday, when my kids are at the top of their game, they wish I was there… and remember that I WAS THERE when love wasn’t easy.  

In the Old Testament, the first time the word "love" is used it is in reference to a father's love for his son.  (Genesis 22:2)  In the first three books of the New Testament, the first time the word "love" is used it is in reference to a Father's love for His Son.  (Matthew 3:17, Mark 1:11, Luke 3:22)  In John, the first time the word love is used it is in reference to a Father's love for the whole world.  (John 3:16).

Followers of Jesus thank God for His patient love of His young children.

Clean Up on Aisle Faith

In the course of doing a lot of marital counseling over the years, I’ve heard some rather amazing stories about discord in marriage.  Almost universally, the problem dissolves into the ancient tension between Faith and Fear.  Here’s a spectacular example:

A young man, not yet 30 years old, was on his THIRD marriage.  One morning, as he was headed out the door for work, he noticed a spot on the linoleum in the kitchen.  He mentioned to his wife that there was a spot on the floor and …here it comes… that she should clean up that spot – and soon.  Arriving back home at the end of a hard day’s work, the husband noticed that the spot was still on the floor.  He did what any right-thinking, red-blooded, American male would do in that circumstance – he launched in to an all-out, soul-crushing, marriage-killing assault on his wife.  I was stupefied.  I asked him why he let a spot on the floor impact his marriage so negatively.  His honest response, “If I can’t trust my wife to clean up a spot in the floor, how can I trust her to stay married to me?”

Let that soak in while we rush to our Sponsor for some soul-cleansing words:

And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm.  And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”  They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” (Mark 4:39-41)

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. For assuredly He does not give help to angels, but He gives help to the descendant of Abraham.  (Hebrews 2:14-15)

Whether we follow Jesus or not, all humans are caught up in this tension between Faith and Fear.  For some reason, God allowed those polarities to come into our lives.  AND we also know that God wishes to inspire our faith.  He does not want us to live in fear and desperation.  We have to choose where our hearts will guide us – toward fear or toward faith.  Hang tightly to these two thoughts.

All fear is a shadow of the fear of death.
Faith drives out fear.

Followers of Jesus have confidence that God is bigger than our circumstances.  Consider King David.  “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me…. (Psalm 23:3)  Let me caution all of us, David didn’t decide to trust God when he realized the threat of death all around him in the valley.  David, and followers of Jesus, trust God’s protection BEFORE the danger shows up.

Back to SpotMan.  This young man actually had a good heart – I think.  He had decided, however, to live his life in slavery to fear rather than the freedom of faith.  When I heard his tale of woe, I said to him soberly and frankly, “You are a damn fool.”  Maybe you don’t care for your pastor to be so blunt or coarse, but that is what he needed to hear.  How would you describe someone who would throw away the chance of a good marriage with a wonderful woman over a spot on the floor?  Maybe my words were not blunt enough… he’s now on his fourth marriage and it is on the rocks, as well.  (He should have read this article.)

My heart aches for everyone who is bound by fear.  Fear and Faith are two of the prominent themes in this blog because they describe the nature of our lives on earth.  Followers of Jesus are not exempt from this tension, but our faith must lead us away from reacting to life’s unpleasant moments with fear.

Clark H Smith

ps – I’ll bet you know someone who is struggling in the bondage of fear.  Would you share this post with them.  At the least, click the Facebook logo below and share this post with your world.  You’ll be doing someone a great favor.

Only Half Right

In the December, 1993 issue of Playboy Magazine… or so I’m told… famed conservative radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, gets his two-cents published to an audience not likely to hear from him often.  With such a broad fan base, it is no surprise that more than a few listeners called Rush’s show chiding him for being used to promote and sell more copies of the not-so-conservative magazine.  Indeed, they said, the conservative position is starkly against porn and the degradation of women.  Rush’s response was typical, something to the effect of “If Jesus were alive today, he would relish the opportunity to be interviewed by Playboy.  Look who He hung out with.”  Let’s check with our Sponsor to make sure Rush has his story right:

Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him [Jesus] to dine with him [Pharisee], and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table.  And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.  (Luke 7:36-38)

And by “sinner”, Luke was delicately indicating that the woman was a prostitute.  There are several other accounts in scripture that record Jesus hanging out with sinners or all sorts.  So Rush was right (just as he so often claims), Jesus seemed to frequently find Himself in the company of the unsavory elements of our society.  But in his zeal to vindicate himself, Rush missed something even more important than who Jesus found fellowship with.  Let’s check back in with our Sponsor:

Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.” (Luke 7:48)

Jesus, like Rush, was a man on a mission.  But instead of talking about politics and economics, Jesus was in the soul-saving business.  He did not shun the presence of sinners, but He never once countenanced their sin – He confronted it.  Remember the woman caught in the act of adultery?  Jesus said to her, “…go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11).

Rush’s defense of his interview in Playboy is weak.  He was wrong by comparing methods instead of message.  Rush also suggests a dangerous openness to temptation.  Granted, we have to be in contact with sinners to share the gospel with them, right?  (Thankfully someone shared the gospel with me when I was a sinner.)  But let’s be very cautious.  Followers of Jesus stay focused on the message and the mission.  Followers of Jesus guard their hearts to stay pure and focused in the mission field.  Remember the words of Jesus as He sent out his first batch of missionaries:

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”  (Matthew 10:16)

Clark H Smith

ps – While looking for images for this post, I searched a wide variety of options.  This Google result was pretty funny:  “No results found for ‘hugh hefner in church.’”