In the course of doing a lot of marital counseling over the
years, I’ve heard some rather amazing stories about discord in marriage. Almost universally, the problem dissolves
into the ancient tension between Faith and Fear. Here’s a spectacular example:
A young man, not yet 30 years old, was on his THIRD
marriage. One morning, as he was headed
out the door for work, he noticed a spot on the linoleum in the kitchen. He mentioned to his wife that there was a
spot on the floor and …here it comes… that she should clean up that spot – and soon. Arriving back home at the end of a hard day’s
work, the husband noticed that the spot was still on the floor. He did what any right-thinking, red-blooded,
American male would do in that circumstance – he launched in to an all-out,
soul-crushing, marriage-killing assault on his wife. I was stupefied. I asked him why he let a spot on the floor
impact his marriage so negatively. His
honest response, “If I can’t trust my wife to clean up a spot in the floor, how
can I trust her to stay married to me?”
Let that soak in while we rush to our Sponsor for some
soul-cleansing words:
And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” (Mark 4:39-41)
Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. For assuredly He does not give help to angels, but He gives help to the descendant of Abraham. (Hebrews 2:14-15)
Whether we follow Jesus or not, all humans are caught up in
this tension between Faith and Fear. For
some reason, God allowed those polarities to come into our lives. AND we also know that God wishes to inspire
our faith. He does not want us to live in
fear and desperation. We have to choose
where our hearts will guide us – toward fear or toward faith. Hang tightly to these two thoughts.
All fear is a shadow of the fear of death.
Faith drives out fear.
Followers of Jesus have confidence that God is bigger than
our circumstances. Consider King
David. “Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me….
(Psalm 23:3) Let me caution all of us,
David didn’t decide to trust God when he realized the threat of death all
around him in the valley. David, and
followers of Jesus, trust God’s protection BEFORE the danger shows up.
Back to SpotMan. This
young man actually had a good heart – I think.
He had decided, however, to live his life in slavery to fear rather than the freedom of faith. When I heard his tale of woe, I
said to him soberly and frankly, “You are a damn fool.” Maybe you don’t care for your pastor to be so
blunt or coarse, but that is what he needed to hear. How would you describe someone who would
throw away the chance of a good marriage with a wonderful woman over a spot on
the floor? Maybe my words were not blunt
enough… he’s now on his fourth marriage and it is on the rocks, as well. (He should have read this article.)
My heart aches for everyone who is bound by fear. Fear and Faith are two of the prominent
themes in this blog because they describe the nature of our lives on
earth. Followers of Jesus are not exempt
from this tension, but our faith must lead us away from reacting to life’s
unpleasant moments with fear.
Clark H Smith
ps – I’ll bet you know someone who is struggling in the
bondage of fear. Would you share this
post with them. At the least, click the
Facebook logo below and share this post with your world. You’ll be doing someone a great favor.
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