Thursday, January 12, 2012

“Oppressive Piety”

Dear Follow Illustrated friends, the following is a pure and simple rant.  This is angry-Clark.  It isn’t often pretty, but I hope it gets a point across.  Send me your thoughts, I’ve got ears to listen.

In the half-time of the Dec 11, 2011 pro football game, Denver Broncos vs Chicago Bears, NBC’s Bob Costas did another round of hand-wringing and head-shaking over the inexplicable Tim Tebow. He gleefully quoted a Frank Bruni op-ed in Dec 11 New York Times.  The Frank Bruni / NYT article is classic snarky atheist pablum.  This line, though, was especially irksome:
“Tebow performs a sort of self-righteous bait-and-switch — you come for scrimmages and he subjects you to scriptures”
The author is a “journalist”, a non-producing leech on society’s backside screaming “right-to-free-speech” every time someone nods left and right instead of up and down. “You come for scrimmages and he subjects you to scriptures”  Oh, you poor darling.  How dreadful you didn’t get to tell Tebow what to say.  How dreadful that the fake laws of your profession don’t allow you to rewrite his Sunday school tripe.  The suffering these people go through is heart-wrenching.  I propose a fresh batch of three minute TV spots with Sara McLaughlin yodeling under images of the heads of atheist reporters exploding every time they’re waterboarded with “Lord & Savior Jesus Christ”.  Something must be done to protect these valiant God-haters from having their precious sensibilities wounded. Talk about your first world problems.

The cherry on this I Scream Sunday is this phrase: “oppressive piety”*.  Despots everywhere – Noriega, Idi Amin, Hussein, Hitler, Ceausescu, Duvalier, Pol Pot – deeply appreciate the four level downgrade of what it means “to oppress”.  Yup, that Tebow, he’s one tough desperado. I say set up outside his house blaring 130db of (old) Def Leopard and projecting (young) Tawny Kitaen videos until Saint Timothy runs out in broken repentance and says “dadgummit” or “I have lusted in my heart”.  ANYTHING that will once and for all put an end to the reign of terror that is his own personal, private piety.

Christians are the only minority which can still be safely persecuted in this freedom loving country. 

“In God We Trust”

Clark H Smith

* “oppressive piety”??  I was not aware that personal piety could oppress others.  Is the fact that Tebow is not a whore-monger and substance-abuser somehow ruinous of other’s lifestyles?  I think the NFL still has plenty of night club shooters, wife beaters, and coke snorters to go around.  Let’s not blame little Timmy with ruining everyone’s party.

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