Last Friday, the 16th, was the 41st anniversary of
my first kiss. Hay rides. What are ya gonna do?
Today, the 19th, is the 2nd anniversary of my
second oldest son, Noah, getting his first kiss as a married man. His bride, Tiffany,
is the closest thing to an angel since… well, since my wife was born. The kids got married in a sushi bar. Actually it was a sushi bar + Japanese
steakhouse. One hundred guests sat
noshing appetizers around the island grills. Noah worked the room while Tiffany
made herself ready. At some point, music
began to play and the kids walked down the “aisle”. Three brothers and a friend stood up with
Noah. One brother wore blue, Braveheart facepaint
(I’m not kidding). A sister and three
friends stood with Tiffany – no face paint per
se, but isn’t that what eye shadow and blush are? Between bouts of tears and choking up, I
officiated. In biblical times, weddings
were exclusively done in the context of a feast – the knot was tied in the
middle of the meal. I’m so thrilled that
the kids decided to go this direction. It was relaxed, innovative, and joyous for everyone involved. It was a shared experience,
not a witnessed ceremony.
One month ago, we received another great blessing from Noah
& Tiffany – not what you’re thinking (no thanks to their mischievous young
brother who launched a Facebook virus about them being “in the family way”). The kids are looking for a house and wound up
with no good prospects as their apartment lease ran out. My wife and I encouraged them to and move
into our house and take the stress off where to land next. Sharing a home with them now has impressed
upon me the power of a simple word from our Sponsor:
…speaking the truth in love… (Ephesians 4:15)
You’ll recall from your college days, roommates are
dangerous things. Family roomies… grown
up, married family roomies are no exception.
Meshing lives and preferences and habits together is tough enough for a
husband and wife. When you add the
dynamics of another husband / wife, son / daughter-in-love, things can get
interesting. Tiffany does social media marketing
and is a part-time pro baker. She loves
cooking, as do I. Very early on I
realized that our kitchen dynamics needed some sorting out. So we talked – in love. It would be very easy for shallow people to
fall apart at this point. Hurt feelings,
pride, stubbornness have a way of screwing up relationships. Just yesterday Tiffany and I were talking, I
said to her, “I’m happily stuck with you forever and you’re stuck with me
forever. I’m glad we can talk honestly
and still love one another.” She agreed.
Every Sunday, pastors stand in the pulpit and talk about the
“church family”. We even call each other
brother and sister. We’re supposed to
have the living, loving dynamic of grown-ups rooming with one another. It is often the farthest thing from the
truth. Twenty years in ministry has
taught me that what our Sponsor said through Jude said 2000 years ago is still
true today:
These are the men [and women] who are hidden reefs in your love feasts when they feast with you without fear, caring for themselves; clouds without water, carried along by winds; autumn trees without fruit, doubly dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up their own shame like foam; wandering stars, for whom the black darkness has been reserved forever. (Jude 12-13)
“Love feasts” refers to gathering as a church family for the
Lord’s supper (and other activities). In
these gatherings are people (like this gal) who care only for themselves, not
for others, creating pain and divisiveness rather than harmony and
compassion. The church is also full of people
who want love, but not the truth.
Even spoken in love, most people don’t want to hear “you made a mistake”
or “you need to take a step toward maturity”.
The result of all this is a church full of divorces and schisms. Folks won’t speak to each other, but heartily
gossip about each other. Many just bolt
the church altogether hoping the folks at next church will be nicer to
them. Is that what a family is supposed
to look like? Our Sponsor does not
thinks so.
On this topic, the Gospel according to Go, Dog. Go! is quite
helpful.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to simply tell someone you do not
see the world the way they see it and still love one another? Sunday morning, my dear Tiffany, offered me a
plateful of gorgeous looking cookies called “Snowballs”. Apparently these cookies have dates in
them. I assured her those snowballs
would melt in Hell before I ate one. And
then I went on a terribly amusing rant about disgusting foods, including, but
not limited to, dates, figs, and sauerkraut.
(I even worked out the etymology of the word “disgust” mid-rant. I was at my best!) Tiffany walked out the door… to church. In a couple hours we’d all be back home –
together. And our family feast of love will
carry on… with extra snowballs for all the rest. You're welcome.
Followers of Jesus speak the truth in love. Followers of Jesus HEAR the truth in
love. Followers of Jesus forbear,
forgive, and forge on together. I wish it were so in practice as well as
principle.
Clark H Smith
The story of Noah and Tiffany living in our home has another
fascinating wrinkle. Please jump over to
my It’s Good To Be The Dad blog and
read this post. It will inspire you.
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