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| Through the years, my bestie! |
This is Clark Smith.
Hello Mr. Smith, my name is Dwayne, I’m with the Wyandotte
County Health Department. Mr. Smith, you recently took a blood test?
Yes.
Mr. Smith, you have tested positive for syphilis.
I’m a writer. I have NO words to describe the ten thousand thoughts that raced through my head in a psychic lightning bolt. I twisted in the agony of consequence, questions, arguments, denials, and the ugly, cold dispassion of scientific truth.
But, But, But… I’ve never, how could I, when did I, ...Wyandotte County… why are you calling me? I live in Johnson County.
Yes, Mr. Smith, our county health department handles all sexually
transmitted disease reports for a seven-county area.
But that's not possible. I mean, THATS. NOT. POSSIBLE.
But that's not possible. I mean, THATS. NOT. POSSIBLE.
I know Dwayne has heard denials like mine a million billion times. But seriously. It's not possible. Trust. Me.
What test did I ever take that turned up positive for
syphilis?
Apparently your Ear, Nose & Throat doctor ordered it.
Now, remember the Bride of My Life is sitting next to me. I just said "positive" and "syphilis" in the same sentence. This was mortifying. How was I supposed to have an adult conversation with Dwayne - complete with adamant denials - while my wife is sitting next to me wondering what this is (truly) all about.
Yes, I have an inner-ear disease!
That's not syphilis!!!
I don’t know, sir, you’ll have to ask your doctor who ordered the test.
Dang straight! (I'm pretty sure that's how I phrased it.)
I hung up the phone and feebly began trying to offer my wife of a quarter century a plausible “explanation” for the conversation I’d just had. We kept our plans to finish our anniversary date with dinner with the family. Not even Stroud’s fried chicken could keep my mind off the fact that I was now living with syphilis.
It was a long weekend before I could get my hands around the
neck of my ENT... I mean get an appointment.
What the heck are you doing, Doc? You tested me for syphilis?
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| Some things are not, cannot, MUST NOT ever be true, right Mom? |
Yes, Méniére’s Disease can be caused by syphilis, it’s a routine screening we do.
Routine to you! And I
continued my protest.
It’s i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e that I have syphilis… knowing all the while that doctors hear this “not me” speech constantly.
It’s i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e that I have syphilis… knowing all the while that doctors hear this “not me” speech constantly.
Well, Clark, I don’t want to cast any aspersions on your
mother, but it is possible that your mother could have passed it along to you in utero.
NO, IT’S NOT!!! Of all
things, THAT is NOT possible! (Those of you who know my mom are laughing at
the gross absurdity of the doc’s suggestion.)
Well, let’s order a more rigorous test and see what it
shows.
YES! LET'S!!
… park that for a moment …
Joseph was down in his woodshop by the Nazareth town
mill. The cell phone in his overalls vibrated, lit up, and
showed an incoming call from Palestine Parenthood clinic.
Hello, this is Joe the Carpenter.
Hello, this is Joe the Carpenter.
Joe, this is Mary.
Are you ok, Mary? Is everything ok?
Well, yes, I’m ok Joe, but I have something to tell you. Joe... I’m pregnant.
…after the sound of carpenter’s tools hitting the floor,
there was a long silence on the other end of the line…
Pregnant! Mary, how
can
you be pregnant? You never, I mean, I never, I mean, we... never… that's i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e!
I know, Joe, I know.
So how in God’s name are your pregnant?
Yes, Joe.
“Yes” what!?!?!? Joe screeched, reaching the end of his human patience.
Yes, Joe, in the name and glory of God, I’m going to bear a
son – His Son.
…phone hits the floor…
Face to face, impossible questions and incredulous answers
soon followed. Imagine how hard it was
for Mary to believe that an angel was actually standing in front of her, a
virgin, announcing her pregnancy. Imagine
how hard it was for Joseph, who had honored his fiancé’s virginity, to hear
that he would not be the father of
their first child.
I know 0.1% of what that is like. The impossible can be true.
The story of Christmas, the story of Jesus, the story of
Joseph and Mary is the story of all of us… it is the story of faith. What did Mary say when she was confronted
with the most alarming, shameful, and disturbing news of her life?
“Behold, the bondslave
of the Lord;
may it be done to me according to
your word.” (Luke 1:38)
When God speaks and when you accept His word before you ever
see how it “all works out for good”, that is faith. Later, Jesus honored her, not for birthing
Him, but for having the faith to accept and obey the difficult word of the Lord. (Read
this post for a unique, Follow Illustrated spin on that
story.)
My story?… oh heck… Doc ordered that more thorough test and I
passed it with flying colors. Turns out
I have an “antigen” or something that is too tall for standard size syphilis
screens. What I don't have is syphilis... I SWEAR I DON'T!!!
I’m thrilled to tell you that, as hard as it was for her to
sit through those anxious days of uncertainty, my dear wife (whose first name
is also Mary) never doubted me, never threw a pot, never ran crying to her mother, never spat, “How dare you!”
Christmas is a marvelous time of music and light, of joy and
love shared generously. I beg you to
never forget that the story of Christmas is the same story as the other 364
days of the year – faith drives out fear.
Faith drives out fear.
I wish you a very Mary Christmas!
